Monday, July 5, 2010

Me And My Girls - Part I - The Most Exciting/Confusing/Happy/Stressful/Beautiful Weekend Of My Life

I am a proud husband and daddy. God has truly blessed me with these 3 beautiful girls! Here's just a little bit of history behind the girls in my life. In a three part series called Me And My Girls.

Christy

You have already heard a little about my relationship with Christy, but it was more about our struggles. I want to tell you the whole story. And mainly the beginning happy stuff! :-)

I met Christy Hoit at around 8 AM on a February morning in 2005. I had seen her around before. Mainly in marching band. Up until this point, all she was to me was an attractive trumpet player that I had never spoken to before. Very attractive I might add! I went to Foy Student Union on the campus of Auburn University to get some breakfast that morning. At this point in time in my college career I was reeling. I NEVER woke up this early. I had a rehearsal at 7 that morning, and didn't have another class until 9 am, so I had some time to kill. I also needed to go get a new student ID, so across campus I went. This was the first and only time all semester that I went to Foy, and who knew in that moment I would meet the love of my life!

When I got to the cafeteria I ran into my good friend Jeremy who was sitting with hot trumpet chick. I knew her name, because a lot of my close friends were friends with her, but I had never actually met this girl. I introduced myself, and when she said "I'm Christy," I responded with "I know." Not creepy at all right!
We had a great 30 minutes of conversation. Mainly about sports. That's when I knew this was something worth pursuing!

At the time, I was actually talking with another girl, Amanda. I met this girl online through Facebook and AIM, and also shared the marching band link with her as well. Well that thing didn't pan out. (In the meantime I had reached out to Christy on the college only version of Facebook. She was a very interesting person, and I had to know more!) To make things confusing, after the thing with Amanda didn't work out, her best friend (also named Christy, so we will call her Christy C), decided that she needed to come talk to me about the whole Amanda situation. Well this turned into a make out session followed by a relationship that came out of nowhere. Christy C and I actually had a great time together. It was a very physical and goofy relationship. But I never felt in love with her. To make things more confusing, I now had a girlfriend at a time when I was about to be transferring to the University of Alabama. I know right! How could I possibly consider transferring from Auburn to Alabama!

The transfer was already in the works. I had scheduled my scholarship audition, my transfer was accepted, and I was on my way out of Auburn. Sometime in March, I decided that I had to end the newly serious relationship that I had had with Christy C. It was a tough one to end, because there was a lot of emotions during those 3 weeks or so, but it had to be done. I wasn't prepared for a long distance relationship, and I liked this girl alot, but I wasn't sure that I loved her.

In the meantime I had been becoming good friends with Christy via Facebook and AIM, before the days of FB chat! We hadn't really seen each other much if any since that February morning, but again, I was so intrigued by her that I had to keep talking to her. She invited me to come to Auburn Christian Fellowship with her several times, which I had declined, mainly because I didn't think it would be appropriate considering the new relationship I was in with Christy C. Well, once I ended things with Christy C, I didn't see anything wrong with accepting her offer, and off I went to ACF. I went a couple times and had really enjoyed myself. I started feeling really connected with this girl. Like really connected. So much so that when the upcoming Pep Band Trip to Atlanta bus pairings came up, we decided to be bus buddies!

Well this weekend I had a dilemna. I was supposed to be in two places at once. This happened to me all the time at Auburn, because I was in so many ensembles. Pep Band was taking me to Atlanta for the SEC tourney on Thursday - Saturday, and Auburn Singers was taking me to Dothan and Montgomery on Friday - Sunday. Well, we really sucked in basketball that year, so I figured that we would lose on Thursday, and if I could drive myself, I could easily make it to Dothan and meet up with singers on Friday. Problem was I had no car. :-( So I asked my ex, Christy C if I could borrow hers. I didn't know what else to do. This is when I did probably the most awkward thing ever, and invited Christy H to ride with me to Atlanta. In my ex's car! Oh well, it had to be done, and I didn't want to ride by myself.

So Christy and I drove up to Atlanta with the bus. We stopped at Chick-Fil-A on the way, and had a great meal together. I think this is went the sparks started flying. The week before, Christy had asked a friend of hers that she really liked named Andy (funny right?) to go to formal with her. I stood by in support, but I really didn't support it. I wanted to take her, but wasn't in the position to, and didn't really want a GF at the time because of the transfer, so I just sat back and watched. So even though I felt the sparks, I was skeptical.

We got to the hotel, and could not be torn apart. So much so that we split off from the group and just talked in the lobby of the hotel. For hours! We decided to explore the hotel. We somehow found ourselves in the pool, In the women's locker room, we left no room unturned in that place! (It was the Westin at Lenox Square if you were wondering.) We even ventured up the suite level of the hotel. Some guy asked if we wanted to go up there while we were on the elevator and swiped his key, and off we went. We went up there and the door to the largest suite in the building was wide open! So naturally we had to go in! It was dark, and all of a sudden Christy comes running around the corner and is like someone is in there! I didn't believe her, so I went to see, and sure enough, there was a girl laying on a bed, butt naked! Well we ran out of there as fast as possible! We returned to lobby, where she gave me her old gum for some reason. After another hour or so of talking, we retired for the night, in seperate rooms of course. It was a band trip!

That night, I couldn't sleep. I had just had the most interesting, exciting, and fun night that I had had in a very long time, and all of it was with a hot girl who was quickly becoming my best friend! I forgot to tell you that Auburn won that night, and now I really had to be in two places at once. So I had to choose. Stay and play with Pep Band, or leave in the morning and go play with singers. I was certainly more replaceable in pep band, then singers, but I could not leave that place. I had to see this Christy thing through. Something told me to stay. The next day we spent hanging out at the mall and having fun with friends. Auburn lost that night, to LSU and Big Baby Davis, and Christy and I ended up fighting with our elbows and laughing the rest of the night on the bed in one of the rooms. Other people in there of course!

So the next morning I had to leave by myself to head to Auburn , to return Christy C's car, and hop in my brother's. I was really confused about what had happened that weekend. I knew it was good, and I knew that I hadn't felt this feeling in a very long time. Not since high school actually. I was seriously head over heels in love with Christy. But she had a date. And I seriously didn't know what was going to happen. I spent the entire Singers trip talking with my friend Breigh about what I should do. Should I talk to Christy about my feelings? Or just let it go? Well I couldn't let it go! And Breigh wouldn't let me let it go! My decision was made much easier when I got a text from Christy that said that Andy had called her and said he couldn't go to the formal with her. Well, I naturally stepped in and asked her. I'm pretty sure I was awkward about it, but I didn't care! And she said yes!

As the weekend of my life had come to as close I was full of all kinds of emotions. I was SO happy, and SO excited about this possibility. And then there was the transferring thing. What do I do about that? I knew that could wait. I had to see this through! Christy and I set up a "date" for the following Monday night. I put quotations because it was watching a movie at my trailer, and my brother was present! Not really much of a date. Well, we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. My bro went into the back room, and we finally talked about our feelings! But Christy wouldn't commit, she said, I need a couple of days to think about this. AHHH!!! I was so worried. Until the next day when I got a phone call while I was walking back to my house from Tiger Transit. And she said yes again! She wanted this relationship just as much as I did! I won't lie. I didn't walk home, I skipped home! Pretty gay I know! Especially considering that I was a 220 lb guy at the time. Imagine if I did it now at 260! But in that moment I was overcome with so much joy, that I had to express it! Pretty sure I cried too! The most exciting/confusing/happy/stressful/beautiful weekend of my life had culminated in Christy and I truly falling in love!

The rest is history folks! We were inseparable after that! I cancelled my transfer. There was no way I could leave this girl. Of course it left some explaining to do with Christy C, who of course thoroughly hated me now, but I couldn't help it. When you fall for the love of your life you fall hard. Three days in to my relationship with Christy, I knew that I was going to be spending the rest of my life with this girl! I had no idea where life would lead us. I practically destroyed my career plans, and had no idea what would happen there, but I knew that I would be doing it with Christy Hoit! And here we are now, Andrew and Christy Killion! The rest of our story is full of ups and downs. That I could write for years about, but I will spare you! What got us through all those moments was the love that we had for each other, that began on this unforgettable weekend Atlanta, GA!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Save Me

I still find it hard to believe that there are people out there that don't know that these guys are Christians. One of the things that I love about KSE is that they are not on a Christian label, and yet almost all of their lyrics focus on their faith. They do it discreetly, which in the Rock/Metal genre is sometimes hard to do. Read/Listen to these lyrics by one of my favorite bands!

"Save Me" by Killswitch Engage

So much that I've done wrong it's an open book
I've done much more than my fair share of damage

What once was hidden now is crystal clear. Transformation is within me
To break the cycle I must turn to you
What I lack I gain through your virtue I gain through you

Even when I fall will you still believe. Even when I'm lost will you still believe

Shattered by the hate that I carry
Take me as I am and make me whole again
I am lost without a purpose always consumed by self
I freely give this calloused heart can you forgive me

Even when I fall will you still believe
Even when I'm lost will you still believe
Now I don't have much, will you save me
But I'll give it all, will you save me

I've made so many mistakes
And I've broken so many promises
I've searched inside and I'm empty
Will you save me Will you save me

Even when I fall will you still believe
Even when I'm lost will you still believe
Every time I fall will you save me
Even when I fall will you save me

The Government That We Deserve

I used to make fun of Glenn Beck. I used to think that he over-exaggerated things. Well tonight, I agree with the man wholeheartedly.

Please watch the video of the link that I posted above. If you can't find up there then here it is. I was watching Glenn Beck tonight, which doesn't happen often. But it has started happening more and more often recently.

Have you watched it? Ok. Well this is Glenn Beck's response. He was crying as he started saying it. And honestly it brought me to tears as well.

"What's happening to US? We're Americans. We deserve better. But we haven't done our job. We got sidetracked in stuff. In things. In power and money and everything else. And so now we are getting the government that we deserve. We have to change. It's our fault, but the good news is we are changing. And Senator, let me put you on notice now...Don't you dare treat the American people like King George a second longer! Because we have changed. We're done. We are done."

This moved me. I have been as upset as anyone about what is going on in Washington today. But I sure hope that Glenn is right. I hope that we have changed. I hope that we are done dealing with this crap that these politicians are shoving down our throats. It is time to take back our country! Because the great thing about America is that this is actually OUR country. It's not Obama's, and it's not Congress'. This country belongs to the American people. And it is time to change things. I pray every day that we can fix things. Maybe a shift in congress in November will help. Maybe it won't. All I know is that I am terrified about the path that this country is on. It is time to change it.

The one thing that Mr. Beck said that I don't completely agree with, is that this is "The government that we deserve." Based on what he said, yes. I think that is true. Our negligence allowed this country to be taken over by progressives and socialists. But that doesn't mean that we deserve it. The government that we deserve is one that is run by the people! Not one that is run by politicians with personal agendas. It's time to kick those guys out of office, and put some people that we can trust in there. People that will truly vote based on what their constituents are telling them to do. People that believe in capitalism. People that believe in the American Dream. That believe that in America, you can truly make your own destiny.

Personal responsibility. That is what this is all about. The reason that democrats are big government, is that they are trying to take care of people that are not responsible for their own actions. They taking the people that have fallen on their face, and babying them. Saying, its ok, we know you are stupid, but here is $1000 a month to help you out. Cause it's not your fault. Bull****!

My family is in a position where we could probably qualify for WIC and other government programs. We are close to qualifying for food stamps. But even if we did. There is no way I would accept them. You know why? Because it is mostly my own damn fault that we are in this position. And Christy and I are going to do our best to get us out of this situation. We are going to make our own destiny. Our own dream. And what this administration wants to do, is take those things out of your hands. To hand you "what you deserve." Well what I deserve is responsibility for my own mistakes and successes. Unfortunately there will always be blood suckers out there. People that believe that they deserve help. That the government owes it to them to pay for things for them.

I got sidetracked here for a minute, but this stuff makes me mad. I am not ashamed to say that I am a conservative Republican. I believe that the American people should have control over their own lives. I do not believe in big government. However, I do believe that one of the primary responsibilities of our government is to secure our borders and to protect this great nation! And right now, they could care less. They are doing nothing to protect our borders, and as Senator Stark has shown, they also don't give a damn! They are perfectly happy with letting illegals and drug dealers into our country. It doesn't bother them at all. And that terrifies me. It makes me want to cry. As Glenn Beck said tonight, "We have to change...(And) We have changed. We're Done." We're done with this irresponsibility. Get out there and vote dammit! Let's take this country back!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Jesus Loves Me

God is in control of my life. And it is because of the death of Jesus Christ that I will live forever!

I truly believe that this is true. My bible tells me so. God has been a constant in my life since the day that I was born. I have been through some hell, and by His grace, he has brought me out of it. Even when I have tried to run away, He has been able to find me. I feel like my faith is stronger today than it has been in a long time. And it is because of what He has brought me through to get me to where I am today. Here's a summary of my Christian journey to this point.

I was baptized into Christ on June 4, 1984. Although I have no physical memory of this day, it is a day that I have never forgotten. It was the day that I became a child of God. My earliest memories of my faith are from when I was 5 years old. I was in Kindergarten at Kirkland Elementary School in Albuquerque, NM. My teacher told me that I could draw anything I wanted. So being the good little Christian that I was, I drew a picture of Jesus. When my teacher asked me what I was drawing, I told her it was Jesus. To mine and my parents surprise, the next place I found myself was in the principal's office. I wasn't allowed to draw a picture of Jesus. It might offend the other children. And so my struggle as a Christian in such and ungodly world had begun.

I grew up as an LCMS Lutheran. (That's Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod) I am proudly still one today! I grew up knowing that my grandfather (on my dad's side) and my Uncle Mark were pastor's. And that my faith was the most important thing in the world. My mother and father made sure that I knew this! The Lord blessed me with parents that not only brought me up in the church, but lived what they were preaching too. They MADE me go to church every sunday. They MADE me go through confirmation when I was a teenager. And for that, I am forever grateful!

My life as a Christian boy changed forever when my dad got a call from God into the ministry. I was 10 years old. I had already moved 6 times in my life, so another move wasn't such a big surprise. We were moving to Fort Wayne, IN. Where both my grandfather and Uncle went to seminary, and where my dad was going to become a pastor himself. I will never forget the church we attended while we were there. St. Paul's Lutheran Church. The steeple, the gorgeous sanctuary, the ornate altar. All will be etched in my memory forever. I also attended school at St. Paul's Lutheran School. I had attended Lutheran Schools ever since 2nd grade, so this one didn't seem so different. But it was here, in Fort Wayne, that my struggles as Christian really began.

Part of it was puberty, and part of it was an introduction into things that I didn't know existed before. We lived in a trailer park for most of the time that we were in Fort Wayne. And it was here that I met my first non-Christian friend. His name was Jeremiah. He was the guy next door. I remember that his dad always looked angry (or high now that I think about it). Jeremiah introduced me to pornography. Which is something I still struggle with to this day. I certainly do not blame him, because I know that the Devil would have introduced me to it eventually anyways. The one thing that I really take from that relationship is that my brother, my father and I were able to be strong enough in our faith that we convinced Jeremiah to be baptized into Christ. I will never forget that day. It was the first day that I truly felt the power of the Holy Spirit in my life. Despite the obstacles that we had to overcome, God worked through us to bring our new friend to Christ. 

After my dad graduated from seminary, we moved to Tuscaloosa, AL. (Or Tuscaloser, as I knew it growing up.) Yes I was in the middle of redneckville, USA. Yes we had to move to the home of the one sports team I hated more than any. But I made it through.

When we moved to Alabama in 1997, I returned to a public school for the first time since 1990. It wasn't too much of a shocker, partly because we were in the middle of the Bible Belt. After we moved there, I had recently lost about 40 pounds and went from a fat loser, to a skinny stud in a matter of a couple of months. Gotta love those growth spurts! It also marked a turn in my life from what was an incredibly horrible childhood, from a behavioral standpoint, to a new and improved Andrew. I started listening to my parents (sometimes :-) And was actually a really good kid in high school. I stayed away from alcohol and drugs, despite some of my friends delving into these things. Sex was another matter. When I was 16, I had been with the same girl for two years. Yeah two years. And temptation took over and I gave in. I am not proud that I gave into this when I was only 16, but at least it was my only bad transgression. lol. Eventually this led to a hoorrible break up and lonliness when I went to college.

College started a WHOLE new chapter of my life. I stopped going to church every sunday. I started drinking at the ripe age of 18, and lost focus on where I was trying to go in life. In high school I was in control. I always went to church, was a leader in my youth group, and had plans for my life. As soon as I got to Auburn, I lost touch. I thoroughly enjoyed my years there, don't get me wrong. I partied like an animal, and loved most of it. 

Since I hadn't been going to church, God naturally found other ways to reach out to me. In 2002 he introduced me to Matt Souther, who introduced me to Christian Rock Music. Thank you Matt! I had heard some of it. Relient K, POD, and some other select few. But Matt really introduced me to the rest of the genre. I started listening to it obsessively. God was reaching me through other means. I didn't really realize at the time, but those songs constantly turned me back to my bible, and helped me make some disastrous situations into manageable ones. And to this day, Christian Rock helps me stay focused.

In 2006 I hit rock bottom. I had dropped out of college. My future wife had broken up with me. (I love you honey!) And I had resorted to drinking heavily, and looking for whatever kind of sexual escapade I could get into. Luckily, it was in these moments that God introduced me to a band called Red. I could relate so well to what they were saying. All of their songs seemed to speak to me, and it seriously kept me going. 

In December of 2006 I was greeted with some life changing news. My future wife/ex-girlfriend was pregnant. With My baby. This again flipped a switch. I immediately went from "drunk bastard mode" to "I need to straighten my life out mode." And God blessed me with a good job that would allow me to provide for my wife and child. The months from January 2007 - May 2007 may have been the most difficult of my life. Mine and Christy's relationship was up in the air, and so was the future of our baby. But thankfully God also blessed me with stubbornness. I was going to have this baby with Christy, and I was going to take care of it. I was also going to marry her and I didn't care what she thought. :-) Well, the rest is history. We tied the knot on July 7, 2007, and our beautiful baby Leah Grace was born on August 19, 2007. Christy has this song she loves by Superchick called "Beauty from Pain." Well, Leah was that beauty! She was the blessing that we didn't deserve, but God gave us anyways. And because of that my faith was strengthened even more.

Since that day our life has been full of struggles, but we always make it though. God has blessed us with another beautiful baby girl, Audrey Anne. And also has helped me find the first church home that I have really had since I left T-Town in 2002, Our Saviour Lutheran Church in Nashville.

I have been through a lot in my 26 year old life, and have had a lot of ups and a lot of downs, but through it all there has been one constant. And that has been my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. He has brought me through things that I never thought I could make it through. No matter how hard I tried to run away, he always found me! All I pray for now, is that I can lay a foundation as strong as the one that my parents did for me for my two girls now. I want them to be ready to handle everything that life can throw at them. And to know that no matter what, they will have a paradise in Heaven to come home to when life is dead and gone. I want them to know that "I can do all things in Christ, who strengthens me."

This song makes me cry every time I hear it, and completely sums up my journey as a Christian. Check it out. 


"Forever" by Red

I try to run, I try to hide from a voice that couldn't satisfy
That was me, always needing more
But letting go of all I had before
Cause it feels like the end
A wound that I can't mend
I just can't fight any longer

You waited 'til I sobered
You came when You knew that the game was over
I didn't even want to be found

But you chased me down and broke in just when
I was done believing
Spun me 'round so close now
I can feel you breathing
Sunlight burns inside and
I feel so alive and
Help me now, tell me how
How can this last forever
Forever

I ignored the signs, opened every door
But I couldn't find what I searched for
I try to fight but I turn and run
Every move I make is the wrong one
You patiently wait for my next mistake
I know it won't be much longer

You waited 'til I sobered
You came when You knew that the game was over
I didn't even want to be found

But you chased me down and broke in just when
I was done believing
Spun me 'round so close now
I can feel you breathing
Sunlight burns inside and
I feel so alive and
Help me now, tell me how
How can this last forever

You gave me so much more
Than I could ever ask for
But I turned and followed
A road that left me hollow
And still you waited for me to come back home
You brought me home...

You chased me down and broke in just when
I was done believing
Spun me 'round so close now
I can feel you breathing
Sunlight burns inside and
I feel so alive and
Help me now, tell me how
How can this last forever
Forever 

Stay tuned for tomorrow's post: Me And My Girls. 



Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Beginning

So my wife wants me to start a blog. I am sure I am not the only husband who has felt that pressure before! Obviously I have given in however. Since this will be my first foray into the world of blogging, please don't judge the book by its cover. And when I say book, I mean BOOK (because the next few posts will probably be very long!)

First off, my name is Andrew. I am 26 years old and I live in Nashville, TN. I am married to a beautiful woman named Christy, who is the love of my life. You can visit her blogs here Just Thinkin'and here http://she-clicks.blogspot.com/. She is clearly much better at this than I am, and probably always will be. I also have 2 gorgeous little girls. Leah Grace, who is almost 3, and Audrey Anne, who is 7 months old. Needless to say, they keep me pretty busy! I am a stay at home dad during the weekdays, and I work at OfficeMax on nights weekends. You won't hear much about OfficeMax on here, but you will hear about the Dad stuff a lot!

Before I get started with this I would like to explain my online alias of BillyTheEuph. It goes back to the days of AIM in high school. My friends in the rock cover band that I was in started calling me Billy for no reason one day. Turns out they had a reason, but that is a story for another day. I also played euphonium in concert band, and was somewhat of a euphonium nerd. So there you go. Billy The Euph. For whatever reason, it has stuck through all these years. I have tried to change it several times, but I always end up right back at it.

There are several things in my life that I am very passionate about. The focus of this blog is usually going to be on four of those things: Jesus, my family, music, and sports. What I plan on doing the next few days is choosing one of these topics and just writing about how each of them has influenced my life up until this point. The good and the bad, the funny and the sad. (Not too much bad or sad though :-) The music and sports posts will probably be the longest, so I will be saving those for last. I guess that's all for now. I will be back tomorrow with my first real post, "Part I of the introduction to AK: Jesus Loves Me" :-) AK is another nickname that I will have to explain, but not today!