Jesus Loves Me

God is in control of my life. And it is because of the death of Jesus Christ that I will live forever!

I truly believe that this is true. My bible tells me so. God has been a constant in my life since the day that I was born. I have been through some hell, and by His grace, he has brought me out of it. Even when I have tried to run away, He has been able to find me. I feel like my faith is stronger today than it has been in a long time. And it is because of what He has brought me through to get me to where I am today. Here's a summary of my Christian journey to this point.

I was baptized into Christ on June 4, 1984. Although I have no physical memory of this day, it is a day that I have never forgotten. It was the day that I became a child of God. My earliest memories of my faith are from when I was 5 years old. I was in Kindergarten at Kirkland Elementary School in Albuquerque, NM. My teacher told me that I could draw anything I wanted. So being the good little Christian that I was, I drew a picture of Jesus. When my teacher asked me what I was drawing, I told her it was Jesus. To mine and my parents surprise, the next place I found myself was in the principal's office. I wasn't allowed to draw a picture of Jesus. It might offend the other children. And so my struggle as a Christian in such and ungodly world had begun.

I grew up as an LCMS Lutheran. (That's Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod) I am proudly still one today! I grew up knowing that my grandfather (on my dad's side) and my Uncle Mark were pastor's. And that my faith was the most important thing in the world. My mother and father made sure that I knew this! The Lord blessed me with parents that not only brought me up in the church, but lived what they were preaching too. They MADE me go to church every sunday. They MADE me go through confirmation when I was a teenager. And for that, I am forever grateful!

My life as a Christian boy changed forever when my dad got a call from God into the ministry. I was 10 years old. I had already moved 6 times in my life, so another move wasn't such a big surprise. We were moving to Fort Wayne, IN. Where both my grandfather and Uncle went to seminary, and where my dad was going to become a pastor himself. I will never forget the church we attended while we were there. St. Paul's Lutheran Church. The steeple, the gorgeous sanctuary, the ornate altar. All will be etched in my memory forever. I also attended school at St. Paul's Lutheran School. I had attended Lutheran Schools ever since 2nd grade, so this one didn't seem so different. But it was here, in Fort Wayne, that my struggles as Christian really began.

Part of it was puberty, and part of it was an introduction into things that I didn't know existed before. We lived in a trailer park for most of the time that we were in Fort Wayne. And it was here that I met my first non-Christian friend. His name was Jeremiah. He was the guy next door. I remember that his dad always looked angry (or high now that I think about it). Jeremiah introduced me to pornography. Which is something I still struggle with to this day. I certainly do not blame him, because I know that the Devil would have introduced me to it eventually anyways. The one thing that I really take from that relationship is that my brother, my father and I were able to be strong enough in our faith that we convinced Jeremiah to be baptized into Christ. I will never forget that day. It was the first day that I truly felt the power of the Holy Spirit in my life. Despite the obstacles that we had to overcome, God worked through us to bring our new friend to Christ. 

After my dad graduated from seminary, we moved to Tuscaloosa, AL. (Or Tuscaloser, as I knew it growing up.) Yes I was in the middle of redneckville, USA. Yes we had to move to the home of the one sports team I hated more than any. But I made it through.

When we moved to Alabama in 1997, I returned to a public school for the first time since 1990. It wasn't too much of a shocker, partly because we were in the middle of the Bible Belt. After we moved there, I had recently lost about 40 pounds and went from a fat loser, to a skinny stud in a matter of a couple of months. Gotta love those growth spurts! It also marked a turn in my life from what was an incredibly horrible childhood, from a behavioral standpoint, to a new and improved Andrew. I started listening to my parents (sometimes :-) And was actually a really good kid in high school. I stayed away from alcohol and drugs, despite some of my friends delving into these things. Sex was another matter. When I was 16, I had been with the same girl for two years. Yeah two years. And temptation took over and I gave in. I am not proud that I gave into this when I was only 16, but at least it was my only bad transgression. lol. Eventually this led to a hoorrible break up and lonliness when I went to college.

College started a WHOLE new chapter of my life. I stopped going to church every sunday. I started drinking at the ripe age of 18, and lost focus on where I was trying to go in life. In high school I was in control. I always went to church, was a leader in my youth group, and had plans for my life. As soon as I got to Auburn, I lost touch. I thoroughly enjoyed my years there, don't get me wrong. I partied like an animal, and loved most of it. 

Since I hadn't been going to church, God naturally found other ways to reach out to me. In 2002 he introduced me to Matt Souther, who introduced me to Christian Rock Music. Thank you Matt! I had heard some of it. Relient K, POD, and some other select few. But Matt really introduced me to the rest of the genre. I started listening to it obsessively. God was reaching me through other means. I didn't really realize at the time, but those songs constantly turned me back to my bible, and helped me make some disastrous situations into manageable ones. And to this day, Christian Rock helps me stay focused.

In 2006 I hit rock bottom. I had dropped out of college. My future wife had broken up with me. (I love you honey!) And I had resorted to drinking heavily, and looking for whatever kind of sexual escapade I could get into. Luckily, it was in these moments that God introduced me to a band called Red. I could relate so well to what they were saying. All of their songs seemed to speak to me, and it seriously kept me going. 

In December of 2006 I was greeted with some life changing news. My future wife/ex-girlfriend was pregnant. With My baby. This again flipped a switch. I immediately went from "drunk bastard mode" to "I need to straighten my life out mode." And God blessed me with a good job that would allow me to provide for my wife and child. The months from January 2007 - May 2007 may have been the most difficult of my life. Mine and Christy's relationship was up in the air, and so was the future of our baby. But thankfully God also blessed me with stubbornness. I was going to have this baby with Christy, and I was going to take care of it. I was also going to marry her and I didn't care what she thought. :-) Well, the rest is history. We tied the knot on July 7, 2007, and our beautiful baby Leah Grace was born on August 19, 2007. Christy has this song she loves by Superchick called "Beauty from Pain." Well, Leah was that beauty! She was the blessing that we didn't deserve, but God gave us anyways. And because of that my faith was strengthened even more.

Since that day our life has been full of struggles, but we always make it though. God has blessed us with another beautiful baby girl, Audrey Anne. And also has helped me find the first church home that I have really had since I left T-Town in 2002, Our Saviour Lutheran Church in Nashville.

I have been through a lot in my 26 year old life, and have had a lot of ups and a lot of downs, but through it all there has been one constant. And that has been my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. He has brought me through things that I never thought I could make it through. No matter how hard I tried to run away, he always found me! All I pray for now, is that I can lay a foundation as strong as the one that my parents did for me for my two girls now. I want them to be ready to handle everything that life can throw at them. And to know that no matter what, they will have a paradise in Heaven to come home to when life is dead and gone. I want them to know that "I can do all things in Christ, who strengthens me."

This song makes me cry every time I hear it, and completely sums up my journey as a Christian. Check it out. 

"Forever" by Red

I try to run, I try to hide from a voice that couldn't satisfy
That was me, always needing more
But letting go of all I had before
Cause it feels like the end
A wound that I can't mend
I just can't fight any longer

You waited 'til I sobered
You came when You knew that the game was over
I didn't even want to be found

But you chased me down and broke in just when
I was done believing
Spun me 'round so close now
I can feel you breathing
Sunlight burns inside and
I feel so alive and
Help me now, tell me how
How can this last forever
Forever

I ignored the signs, opened every door
But I couldn't find what I searched for
I try to fight but I turn and run
Every move I make is the wrong one
You patiently wait for my next mistake
I know it won't be much longer

You waited 'til I sobered
You came when You knew that the game was over
I didn't even want to be found

But you chased me down and broke in just when
I was done believing
Spun me 'round so close now
I can feel you breathing
Sunlight burns inside and
I feel so alive and
Help me now, tell me how
How can this last forever

You gave me so much more
Than I could ever ask for
But I turned and followed
A road that left me hollow
And still you waited for me to come back home
You brought me home...

You chased me down and broke in just when
I was done believing
Spun me 'round so close now
I can feel you breathing
Sunlight burns inside and
I feel so alive and
Help me now, tell me how
How can this last forever
Forever 

Stay tuned for tomorrow's post: Me And My Girls.